Nothing happens unless first a dream
by Misery1
Summary: Arthur is suffering from nightmares. He dreams of Merlin's death, and there's nothing he can do. Merlin is trying to help, and soon finds out that Arthur's life is in danger.
1. Author's notes

Author's notes

This fanfiction contains no spoilers for Season 5!

It was written, before the episodes were aired.

My friend and I started just for fun. Each of us would write one sentence/paragraph, and soon we began to think about a plot, characters, spells, creatures, stuff...

Please keep in mind that we are from Germany, and are no native speakers.

The story was written in German, and I translated it. Unfortunately, I had to learn that translating is much more difficult than writing a story in English.

I bet there are still a lot of mistakes in that story. Please tell us, if there's anything we should change! Criticism is very much appreciated!

This is a magic reveal story.

Actually, it's only part one, but it can be read as a standalone story. We have already written part two (which isn't translated, yet). Part two will contain slash. =)

Thank you!


	2. Part 1

Arthur was thrashing about in his sleep. Since days he was haunted by the same dream.

In this dream he was standing at a lake shore, staring at the deep blue water. The water was moving. Huge bubbles welled up to the murky surface. He narrowed his eyes, and discovered a dark shadow floating to the surface. Then he realized that it was a person, who was looking at him with huge, panic filled, eyes.

Shocked, he stumbled backwards. Somehow he knew this person.

"Merlin?" he asked hesitantly, but the person didn't answer him. Slowly, the body descended.

Arthur woke up bathed in sweat. His eyes widened, only to close them again, because of the bright sunlight that was streaming through the windows. His heart was racing, and he felt dizzy, as he called for Merlin in a raspy voice.

**xxx**

"Arthur? Arthur, I'm right here," he heard a familiar voice next to his bed. Arthur spun round, and saw Merlin, who was standing at the headboard, eying him with concern.

"Uh...I'm all right," he said, because he already felt stupid.

"Did you have a bad dream?" Merlin sneered, relieved that Arthur wasn't in pain.

"No! Why do you think that?" Arthur wanted to know, and ran a hand over his face.

"Well, you have moaned in your sleep, and mumbled something, and..." Merlin began. Like always, he didn't even think about keeping his mouth shut.

Arthur turned bright red, grabbed one of his many cushions, and threw it in Merlin's direction. Quickly, Merlin dodged it.

"Make yourself useful, and fetch me some fresh water – and Merlin, if you dare to tell anyone about this..."

"As if anyone would be interested," Merlin mumbled, and succeeded in dodging a second cushion, before he slipped through the door.

Nevertheless, the young warlock was worried. Recently, he had noticed that Arthur's sleep had been uneasy and troubled. His nightmares had become more frequently, and Arthur always seemed to be irritated and exhausted.

Arthur had gotten up, when Merlin came back, and was standing at the window, absorbed in his thoughts.

Silently, Merlin set the water down, picked the two cushions up, and stepped up to his friend.

He tried to be polite, as he told him: "Your water, Sire."

Arthur turned around without even looking at Merlin. "Thank you, you're dismissed."

"Although you would disagree, I am not that stupid. It is so obvious that something is wrong," Merlin quickly added.

Arthur glared at him. "Go Merlin, or you can spend the day polishing the knights' boots."

Scowling, Merlin walked away. Although he hated it, when Arthur shut him up, he knew that Arthur didn't want to argue with him. Therefore, he decided to ask Gaius, if he could tell him something about dreams. He had to help Arthur.

**xxx**

"Merlin." Surprised, Gaius looked up from his book, as the door opened. "Why aren't you with the king?"

"The _king_ isn't feeling so well today. Gaius, I'm worried," Merlin said quietly.

Gaius frowned. "Worried? You should do your work, and not object every time."

"Gaius, I know Arthur. Something is wrong, and that troubles me," Merlin replied, and glanced at the book shelf, where Gaius kept his leech craft books.

"You're really worried, aren't you?" Gaius asked. "Tell me what happened."

"He was still asleep, when I entered his chambers to lay out his clothes. But he had dreams – very bad dreams."

"Has this happened before? Has he talked to you about his dreams?"

"I've watched him having nightmares a few times now. Of course, Arthur acts, as if everything is all right," sighed Merlin.

"Maybe it is, but in case it isn't," Gaius added, as Merlin wanted to protest, "we need to find out what his dreams are about."

"And how on earth should I do that? He doesn't want to talk to me."

"I don't know if this is right, but maybe some magic could help." Gaius pulled an old heavy book from the shelf.

"And if Arthur finds out, he will behead me...But I guess we must try it. What do I have to do?"

"You need to brew a potion. Arthur must drink it, before he goes to sleep. Then you can see his dreams."

Satisfied that he could finally do something, Merlin started to work. However, he was nowhere near the final step; three hairs of a seven legged spider – who on earth had that, when someone knocked.

Sir Leon stuck his head through he door. "Merlin, there you are! The king wants to see you."

Merlin inwardly groaned, because he feared, Arthur might force him to clean the boots anyway.

"Gaius, could you please...?" he asked, hesitating slightly.

"Merlin, you wanted to do that, not me," Gaius replied, already looking for the spider hairs in a dusty pot.

"Thank you, Gaius, it is really urgent," Merlin said, closing the door behind himself.

**xxx**

Merlin rushed to Arthur's chambers, entered without knocking, and was surprised, to find Arthur exactly at the same spot he had left him. He was still standing at the window.

"Sire, you wanted to see me?"

"Merlin, what would you do, when you think one of your friends is in trouble, but you don't know why or if you could help him?"

"I...I think I would try to warn and protect him. Believe me, I know what I'm saying," Merlin said, surprised by Arthur's thoughtful tone.

"You?" Arthur laughed hoarsely. "When have you ever saved someone's life?"

Merlin tilted his head to one side. "I could think of quite a few times."

"Mhmmm." Slowly, Arthur turned around to face him.

"Don't you want to tell me what's bothering you?" Merlin sighed.

"It's surely nothing," Arthur defended himself. "After all, I have a lot of responsibility, and I have to watch out for my people."

"Yes., I understand," Merlin mumbled, "do you need anything else, Sire?"

Arthur seemed to have something on his mind. "Could you ask Gaius for a sleeping draught? I need to get some rest."

Grinning, Merlin replied: "Of course, Sire." Then he hurried back to the court physician.

Arthur wondered, whether he should tell Merlin the truth or not. On the other hand, it was only a stupid dream, which had nothing to do with reality. And he knew Merlin. His cheeky servant would make fun of him.

**xxx**

When Merlin came in, Gaius looked up from the cauldron. "It's ready."

Merlin stepped closer. "Are you sure this will work?"

Gaius hesitated: "No...but I'm afraid there is no other option."

"Then we have to wait until Arthur goes to bed," Merlin said, before he remembered that Arthur had demanded a sleeping draught.

"And I know how I can make sure that Arthur drinks the potion," he told Gaius.

"You pour it into his wine?" Gaius suggested.

"No, no. Arthur needs something that helps him with his sleep. I just mix both potions together."

"Good. That might do it. And Merlin, don't forget that you have to stay near Arthur. Otherwise, the dream potion cannot work," said Gaius, and grabbed his bag.

"I will do my very best," reassured Merlin.

"Very good. And since you don't have anything else to do, you can accompany to the market. I need to restock my supplies."

Frustrated, Arthur sat on his throne. He could hardly concentrate. He dismissed everybody, who came with a request to him. He put knights and other noble persons, who asked for his advice, off.

Finally, he got up, ordered a maid to serve his dinner in his private chambers, and retired.

**xxx**

Impatiently, Merlin hurried to Arthur's chambers. Arthur was listlessly picking his food, and flinched heavily, when Merlin pulled the door open.

"Merlin, what's wrong? Are you all right?" he asked concerned.

Merlin's eyes widened. "Why are you asking me this? What could possibly happen to me?"

"Erm... I expect people to knock on my door, before they disturb me," Arthur snapped, after he realized how ridiculous his questions had sounded.

Merlin shrugged his shoulders, and came closer. "I have the sleeping draught you wanted, Sire."

"Thank you. Put it here, and bring the food back to the kitchen."

Merlin hesitated, because he needed to stay with Arthur, while he took the potion.

Arthur rolled his eyes. "You can go, Merlin. And I don't want to be disturbed again."

"Uh," Merlin cleared his throat, "Gaius said...uh...the draught...I have to stay at your side...because...uh...because of the side effects."

"What kind of side effects?" Arthur asked surprised. "I could fall asleep? Whatever! Give it to me."

Merlin gave Arthur the small phial, in which he had filled both, the sleeping draught and the dream potion. "Be good and drink up."

Arthur shot Merlin a warning glance, and emptied the phial in one go.

"Do you feel anything, yet?" Merlin asked, observing Arthur intently.

Arthur squinted, shook his head, and began to sway. Merlin managed to catch him, before he could hit his head on the bedpost. Carefully, he tried to lay him on the bed. After he had made Arthur comfortable, Merlin considered undressing his king.

Suddenly, he felt very dizzy, and stumbled.

Merlin sank down on the mattress, and closed his eyes.

He stood behind Arthur on the shore of a huge lake, which was strangely familiar.

Arthur waded into the water, and stared intensely at the surface. Merlin narrowed his eyes, but couldn't see anything in the water.

All of a sudden, he couldn't breathe anymore. As he opened his mouth, he vomited cold lake water. Panicking, he tried to scream, but only more water came out.

His eyes flew open. He was underwater. Through the shimmering surface, he saw Arthur, who was standing above him. Merlin lifted his arms, but couldn't reach Arthur.

Before he blacked out, he heard Arthur desperately shouting his name.

Merlin opened his eyes. He was still in Arthur's bed. The room was dark except for a few flickering candles, and the glowing firewood.

Merlin turned his attention to Arthur. His face was covered with sweat, and he had gripped the sheets tightly.

Merlin caressed his face, and tried to calm him down. Slowly, Arthur relaxed, turned around, and snuggled himself up against Merlin, mistaking him for one of his pillows.

At first, Merlin didn't know what to do, but since the dream had affected him, too, he didn't want to push Arthur away.

He could still taste the stale water, and his skin was clammy and cold.

Gently, he laid his hands on Arthur's and fell asleep again.

He didn't dream anything else this night, and Arthur finally seemed to get some rest.

**xxx**

"I'm pretty sure you have a good explanation for this!" Merlin heard Arthur's voice.

Merlin flinched, and opened his eyes, confused. "Sire?"

Arthur stood next to the bed, and glared at him.

"What are you doing in MY bed?", he scowled, his eyes flashing angrily.

Blushing, Merlin looked around. "In your...oh!"

Now he remembered everything: the dream, in which he had died, or whatever had happened to him, and that he had been so tired. Hectically, he jumped out of the bed, searching for a plausible apology.

"I had to...make sure that nothing happened to you...and somehow...well...," he stammered.

Arthur raised one eyebrow. "And that's why you lied down next to me and fell asleep?"

"It is really tiring and boring to watch you sleep. But I can assure you that everything worked," Merlin said, although his cheeks had turned bright red.

"Nothing has worked!" Arthur yelled. "I still had this horrible dream, in which you...Oh, forget it, and serve me breakfast."

"Arthur, I know that something is wrong, and I won't leave until I get an answer," Merlin said, who was tired of Arthur lying to him.

"And I thought that you have to follow _my_ orders," Arthur replied coldly.

"You are good at being superficial and arrogant. You don't want people to get close to you, but..." Merlin began, before Arthur furiously cut him off.

"I didn't hear that!"

An apologetic smile crept over Merlin's lips. "Believe me, I would never harm you, because I am your friend."

Arthur, who didn't have any strength left to argue with the person, he wanted to protect, gave in: "Maybe you are right. You should know what's wrong."

Merlin took one step forward. His heart was beating loud and fast, and he was scared of what Arthur was about to say.

Arthur sighed. "Every night I have the same dream."

"And what are you dreaming?" Merlin quietly asked.

"I'm...I'm standing at a lake, staring at the water...and...and then..." Arthur fell silent.

Merlin lifted his hand to comfort Arthur, but reconsidered it, and asked: "What happens next?"

Arthur turned around, and continued barely audible: "Then I have to watch you drown."

Merlin bit his lip, and pondered on that. After all, he had witnessed the nightmare. He cleared his throat, and tried to sound cheerfully: "Why should I drown?"

"I don't know...and I don't know what this means. But I'm worried...about you."

Merlin gulped. "Nothing will happen to me. It's only a dream! Besides, you never give me a day off. How should I ever go to that lake?"

"You're probably right. Be careful, nevertheless. Oh, and Merlin? If you dare to tell anyone about this..."

"I know. I will have to muck out the stables, darn your socks, and polish your armor," Merlin listed.

"No! Then I will throw you in the dungeons forever. Likewise, if you don't get me anything to eat right now," Arthur threatened him.

Merlin grimaced, and dashed out of the room. "Oh...if you knew what I put into that potion, you would have me burnt at the stake, anyway," Merlin mumbled more to himself.

On his way to Arthur's chambers, he ran into Gaius. He immediately sensed that Merlin wasn't really satisfied. "Did it work? What have you seen?" he whispered concerned.

"It did work, but now I don't know what to do," he replied.

"_MERLIN!_"

"Oh no...the breakfast. I better hurry, or I don't have to worry about Arthur's dream anymore," Merlin shouted and ran away.

**xxx**

Trying to catch his breath, he returned to Arthur's chambers.

"Your break...", he began, but Arthur cut him off immediately. "Forget about the stupid breakfast, we need to find out, if there's some deeper meaning behind my dream."

Confused because of Arthur's change of moods, Merlin sat the tray down on the table. "I already told you that I will be careful – and surely the dream doesn't mean anything at all."

Arthur waved him aside. "As king I need to protect my people, and therefore you saddle the horses. We try to find this lake."

When Merlin lead the horses to the courtyard, he saw Arthur and Gwaine hurrying down the stairs.

"Gwaine will come with us, in case we get into a fight – and don't tell me you can defend yourself," Arthur said with determination. Merlin rolled his eyes, nodded at Gwaine, and mounted his horse.

He wasn't even surprised that Arthur had invited Gwaine, although he wanted to keep everything secret. The king seemed to be very upset, and Merlin couldn't help but blame himself.

A cold wind blew the last leaves from the trees, as they rode into the forest. After a few hours, their search was still fruitless. Suddenly, Merlin felt a magical presence. In a short distance, he could see a flickering light, conjured by magic.

"Arthur, I think we need to go this way!" He pointed at a barely visible trail, which was overgrown with thorny twines.

"Why? I can't see anything," Arthur said and narrowed his eyes.

"I feel something..."

"You feel something?" Arthur sneered, but got off his horse anyway, already drawing his sword.

Sceptically, he glanced at Merlin, before he beckoned the others to follow him.

They led the horses down the narrow path, swearing and wincing, as the thorns bit into their skin. As Arthur thought of turning around, and trying to find another way, they entered a small clearing that was – despite the approaching winter - covered with white flowers.

"And what is that, Merlin? Vicious flowers that attack us?" Arthur snorted, and sheathed his sword.

But before Merlin could say something, a thick fog descended on the forest, surrounding them. All they could see was white.

"Stay close to me," Arthur yelled, drawing his sword again.

They quickly moved together, and frantically looked around.

Their horses became uneasy, and reared up, trying to move away from the fog.

Merlin tried to look through the foggy wall using his magical skills, but the other force, he had sensed earlier, was too strong.

Suddenly, the fog disappeared, revealing a beautiful woman with long, red, hair. Her whole body seemed to glow from within. This had to be the light, Merlin had seen.

"Who are you? And what is that all about?" Arthur asked alarmingly, swinging his sword forth and back.

"I am the answer to all of your questions, but you can only ask me one."

"And what..." Arthur began, before Merlin clamped his hand over his mouth to silence him.

"We need to think about that question," he hissed.

Arthur pushed his hand away. "I know that, you idiot!"

Then the king turned to the strange creature. "We need time to take counsel," he said, trying to sound more confident than he actually felt.

"I don't get what the lady wants from us," Gwaine said, scratching the back of his head.

Arthur ignored him, and looked at his servant. "We ask her, how I can save your life...or if she can tell us the meaning of the dream...or if it means anything...or..."

"Save his life?" Gwaine interrupted him. "There's no need to save his life, Merlin looks fine to me...What's wrong?"

Arthur sighed. "I have this dre...this fear that Merlin could drown in a lake. Do me a favour, Gwaine, and make yourself useful by thinking of a suitable question."

"Why don't you ask her, if Merlin dies in a like?" Gwaine, who seemed utterly confused, proposed.

"And what if she says yes?" Arthur snapped at him.

Merlin intervened. "I could ask what I must do to not drown in the lake."

After thinking over Merlin's suggestion, Arthur said:" Yes! That's great – you are a genius, Merlin."

Smiling triumphantly, because Arthur didn't often admit that he was not an idiot, Merlin called the creature: "We have a question."

"Very well," she said, nodding at him. Hesitating, Merlin stepped forward. "Uhm..." He cleared his throat, and nervously glanced at Arthur, before he continued: "What do I have to do to not drown in that lake?"

The red haired beauty chuckled, and Merlin could hear her voice in his head. "You need to show him your true self, Emrys. And about that lake..."

The woman was talking so that they all could hear her. "If you don't go there, you won't die."

And she disappeared into thin air.

"What the heck?" Arthur shouted angrily. "What is that supposed to mean? This is not funny! I was worried about him! "

"So...you're not going to die?" Gwaine asked relieved.

Arthur stared at Gwaine, as if he had lost his mind. "I have enough, we ride back."

Frightened, Merlin glanced at Arthur. He knew what the creature wanted him to do. Lost in his thoughts, he mounted his horse, and followed Arthur and Gwaine back to Camelot.

Arthur, who was happier than he had been the last days, noticed that his servant still seemed depressed.

"What's wrong, Merlin?" he asked.

"No...nothing," Merlin stammered, and tried to smile. "I'm glad that your fear was unfounded."

Annoyed, Arthur shook his head. He longed for a tasty dinner, his comfortable bed, and a peaceful sleep without any nightmares.

**xxx**

Back in Camelot, Merlin immediately hurried to Gaius without attending to his servant duties. Out of breath, he burst into the physician's room, and quickly closed the door.

"Merlin! Where have you been?" Gaius said concerned.

"Arthur wanted to find out, why he's having these dreams, and then we met this magical woman, and..." Merlin began, but Gaius interrupted him almost immediately.

"Calm down, Merlin. You have to tell me everything."

"This woman had somehow waited for us, and she knew who I was, and that I have magic, and I don't know what to do now!" Merlin hastily added, still very agitated.

"Have you forgotten that you are able to sense the presence of magic? Why are you so upset?"

"She didn't help us with the dreams, and now I fear that it's all my fault," Merlin confessed, and sat down on the bench.

"Why do you think that?" Gaius replied, sitting down facing him.

"The creature said I mustn't hide anymore...but that's impossible!" Merlin shouted desperately.

"You know that the king hates magic more than anything else. You need to keep it secret, if you don't want to end up dead," Gaius said shocked.

"But I cannot forget what the woman has said to me, either." Merlin sighed.

"Can you describe the woman?" Gaius wanted to know.

"She had red hair, and wore a grey dress. She was very pretty, and she seemed to glow from within,"Merlin told him.

"Mhm...it sounds like a powerful creature of the old religion." Gaius stood up, walked to his shelf, and pulled out a huge book. He skimmed through the pages until he found what he had been looking for. He laid the open book on the table so that Merlin could see the picture. "Did she look like that?"

Surprised, Merlin's eyes widened. "Yes, exactly like this."

"That's a succubus, Merlin. A powerful demon, who tortures human souls with nightmares. It sucks out their life force until...they die," Gaius explained, and continued reading.

"And it could be your succubus."

"Why could it be my..." Shocked, Merlin jumped to his feet. "Is it my fault that Arthur is cursed, and might die?"

"Well," Gaius said, "a succubus is summoned by someone, who is unhappy or dissatisfied, and since the succubus knows who you are...it could be possible."

"But I am not unhappy," Merlin objected weakly.

"Think about it," Gaius said.

"I have a nice life. I'm living in a castle, I have friends, always enough to eat, a varied work," Merlin reflected.

"Oh, Merlin," Gaius said, and put an arm around his protégé. "You carry such a huge burden on your shoulders. You need to keep your secret, and you have to protect Arthur. You're under a lot of pressure. Maybe your magic got out of control."

"And what can I do about that? How can I stop the succubus?" Merlin had started pacing nervously.

"You need to face your greatest fear. That's the only way to stop him," Gaius recited from the book.

Abruptly, Merlin came to a halt, and he stared at Gaius in disbelief. "I have to decide, whether I let the succubus suck out his energy, or admit to him that I'm a sorcerer. It's him or me?"

Gaius shrugged his shoulders. "We don't know for sure how strong the succubus is, and if it really wants to kill Arthur."

"What should I do? I can't let Arthur die..." Tears welled up in his eyes.

"Merlin," Gaius tried hush him, and gently petted his back. "We need to keep an eye on the king, and find out if we are right about that succubus."

"Does that mean I can't do anything but wait? But Arthur will become suspicious."

"We don't have a choice," Gaius decided. "Go to him, Merlin, and do your work."

Merlin sighed again, and left Gaius. He fetched the dinner for his king, and brought it to his chambers. He hoped Arthur wouldn't be too furious, after Merlin had run away without attending to his duties.

**xxx**

Arthur was in a very good mood, as he ordered Merlin to help him with his nightshirt.

After Merlin was finished, Arthur remarked: "You can be lucky that I am very generous today. Your behaviour will be tolerated just now. Tell me, why you left in such a hurry!"

Merlin sighed. "I don't think that it's over. It would have been too easy..."

"Cheer up, Merlin. You will see that everything is just fine." Arthur smiled at him.

"Whatever..." Merlin took the dishes and Arthur's worn clothes, and left the king alone.

Amused, Arthur gazed after him, before he lied down. He easily fell asleep, because he was very tired and exhausted.

An oppressive darkness washed over him, and he started to dream again.

It was dark, and he was running through the corridors of Camelot. He didn't pause or stop. It was as if he was looking for something or someone. Because he couldn't find it, he panicked. Sweat poured from his forehead, and his heart began to race.

Suddenly, he was in front of the throne room. The doors opened. Panting and wheezing, he stumbled , and fell to his knees.

Right in front of him was Merlin. He was lying on the floor in his own blood.

"Merlin," he croaked. "Merlin, this is not real. How..."

All of a sudden, bright light blinded him, and he had to close his eyes.

"Who is there?" he demanded hoarsely.

"Uh, it's me, Merlin...Good morning, Sire."

Slowly, Arthur opened his eyes. "You are alive? I mean...did you bring my breakfast?"

"Arthur, what is wrong?" Merlin asked alarmingly.

"Nothing," Arthur shot back. "I'm just a little bit dazed, but I slept very well." He tried to smile.

In one swift motion, he pulled back the duvet, and stood up.

Merlin eyed him worriedly, before he fluffed up the pillows and folded the blanket. "That's good to hear."

"You will polish my armor while I will be working here," Arthur ordered him, and hoped that Merlin would be safe, as long as he could watch over him.

Sighing, Merlin glared at the piled up armor. He had polished it two days ago, and he didn't know why he should do it again. On the other hand, he could stay with Arthur, and find out, if he really was in danger.

The day went by with boring work, and Arthur realized that it was slowly getting dark.

"Merlin, are you hungry? Do you want to join me for supper?" he asked his servant, who was longing for a break.

Startled, Merlin looked up from the armor. Usually, he ate with Gaius.

"To celebrate our victory, and because nothing happened to you," said Arthur, and forced a smile on his lips, although his voice was trembling.

Merlin could tell Arthur was lying. Arthur never invited him. He barely said 'Thank you'. And even if Merlin believed him that he was worried about his subjects, nobody received a reward for surviving a threat.

And Merlin hadn't even been in danger.

"Merlin, don't just sit there. Set the table, and fetch the food", Arthur shouted, when Merlin didn't react.

"Sire, I'm only a poor servant. The Pomp and the delicious food, that's not for me!" Merlin teased him.

"Watch your mouth, Merlin! I can throw you in the dungeons, where you will only get water and bread," Arthur replied, feeling slightly relaxed.

"Then I prefer staying with you. But I have to warn you, I eat very noisily, and napkins..."

Merlin had to duck, as Arthur threw a book at him. Smirking, he fled from the room, and went to the kitchen.

**xxx**

"Merlin, what are you doing?" Gaius asked bewildered, as he nearly bumped into him. Merlin was carrying two large plates full of roast, potatoes and vegetables. "Does the king have a visitor? Shouldn't you serve supper in the banquet hall?"

"Yes, Arthur expects a special guest. Me," Merlin said proudly.

"What? Oh..." Gaius exclaimed. "I don't have to understand this. But if Arthur is in such a good mood, everything seems to be fine, don't you think?"

"Mmhmm," Merlin mumbled, because he did neither wanted to bother Gaius, nor keep Arthur waiting.

**xxx**

As Merlin placed the plates on the table, he noticed that Arthur watched every movement. Either, he was looking for a reason to mock him, or something troubled him.

"Sire," he asked carefully, "is something wrong?"

"I just wanted to make sure that you gave me the bigger serving. I don't want you to take advantage of my generosity."

Immediately, Merlin opened his mouth to protest, but Arthur lifted his hand to silence him. "Sit down."

Silently, Merlin poured Arthur water, and grasped his own goblet.

"Thank you for the invitation, Sire. But I don't really understand, why you are doing this."

Arthur put his knife down. "Merlin, you've been my servant for such a long time, but we barely had a chance to … talk."

Hastily, Merlin set his goblet aside, and began to cough. "Talk to me? Since when do you want to talk to me voluntarily?" he snorted.

"Since you appeared in my dreams," Arthur said coldly.

Promptly, Merlin became serious. "And what do you want me to say?"

"Why do I dream about you, and about your death? And don't tell me that I secretly crave for seeing you dead," Arthur continued.

Merlin felt his heartbeat quicken. Should he tell Arthur the truth?

"I don't know, Sire," he said, pushing his peas around. He wasn't hungry anymore. "We spend a lot of time together."

"Still," Arthur objected, "this creature had magic. And it knew about my dreams. Maybe this is some evil plan to make me vulnerable, and attack Camelot."

Merlin's bowels contracted painfully at the word "magic".

"I don't believe that, Sire. The suc...the woman wouldn't have listened to us," he said.

"Maybe you are right," Arthur replied not convinced at all.

"Sire, you're not suffering from nightmares anymore, are you?" Merlin wanted to know.

"No, no...of course not," Arthur said quickly.

Relieved, Merlin let out a shaky breath. "I better clean up, and let you sleep. It's late."

"But I am not tired," Arthur disagreed, stifling a yawn.

"But I am," Merlin grinned. "I have to get up earlier than … others."

"I could...whatever, take the dishes to the kitchen, and leave me alone," Arthur said irritated.

Merlin got to his feet, drew the curtains, picked up the plates, and opened the door.

"Will you undress yourself tonight or do you require my help?" he asked sheepishly.

"Good night, Merlin," Arthur hissed, and glared at him.

Merlin slightly bowed to him, before he left.

**xxx**

Arthur remained sitting at the table, and stared into the flickering flames. It was wrong to lie at Merlin, but he didn't want to upset him.

Moreover, the creature had promised them to not harm them. Arthur shook his head. Of course, it had been a trick. It used magic. Why had he believed that woman? Magic did not exist without cheating, fraud, and treason. Everybody, who used magic, only did it for his own welfare. They wanted to humiliate and hurt others. Arthur sighed. What should he do against this powerful creature?

How could he fight his own nightmares?

What if Merlin was in danger? What if his dreams were some sort of warning? And how should he protect Merlin?

He couldn't be with him all the time. This was ridiculous. The idea with the dinner had been stupid and imprudent.

No king ate from the same table as his servant.

Although he had to admit that Merlin's presence hadn't annoyed him. On the contrary, it had been quite nice to not be surrounded by knights, who talked about their brave actions all the time; or by other nobles, who praised him excessively.

Merlin had never shown much respect; however, he had always been loyal. Arthur knew he expected much from him. And Merlin made an effort to satisfy him. Even if he seemed to be clumsy from time to time.

Arthur smiled. Maybe he was dreaming of Merlin, because he meant more to him than he wanted to admit.

He was more than a servant. Merlin was a friend.

He felt a weak tingling sensation in his stomach.

"Merlin is my friend," he whispered.

Yawning, Arthur blinked. But he was the king. Could he really have feelings for his servant? He was so tired.

Why couldn't he admit that he spent more time thinking of Merlin, than of his duties?

Why couldn't he admit that Merlin was more important to him than any other person he knew?

And why couldn't he admit that he would give his life for him?

Arthur buried his face in his hands, and closed his eyes. If he could stay awake, the dreams wouldn't harm him, and Merlin would be all right.

Suddenly, the atmosphere in the room began to change.

It became dark and cold, and he was, once more, in front of the throne room. He started to shiver, and panicked.

He was out of his mind, as he pushed the doors open, and rushed into the room.

He could see that Merlin slowly turned around to face him, as he was run through with a sword. Sinking to the ground, his mouth fell slightly open. Blood was trickling down his lips.

"Nooooo," Arthur screamed, his eyes filling with tears. Merlin twisted his mouth into a weak smile; then his eyes rolled back, and his body became rigid.

Drenched in sweat, Arthur awoke with a start. It was still dark in his room, and he was still sitting on his chair.

Relieved, because he had been dreaming, he brushed aside his wet fringe.

As he tried to stand up, his legs didn't support his weight, and he nearly fell, resting his hands on the tabletop.

"This has to stop...please," he begged.

He was bone-tired, but he was too scared to fall asleep again. Slowly, he reached out for his goblet to drink some water. His arm was so heavy, and he could barely lift it. He knocked the goblet over, spilling water all over the table.

He first thought of calling Merlin, but then he recollected himself, and used his nightshirt to wipe up the water.

Why was everything so tiring? What happened to him? Arthur staggered towards his bed, sank down on the mattress, and fell asleep.

He was lying next to Merlin's lifeless face. "Merlin?" he asked quietly, but he didn't respond.

Hesitating, he touched his cheek. "Merlin, wake up!"

Merlin weakly blinked, and his lips formed the words: "Save yourself."

"But...Merlin. I will take care of you."

"Not of me...of yourself," Merlin mouthed, before Arthur's vision blurred.

Arthur opened his eyes. He was lying in his bed, surrounded by darkness. He could hear footsteps, slowly coming closer. Hastily, he pulled the duvet over his face, and sunk back into the pillows. The door was opened, and somebody tiptoed across the room.

Suddenly his curtains were drawn open.

**xxx**

"Rise and shine, Sire. Did you..." Merlin's voice trailed off, as he saw the upset goblet, and the soaked through nightshirt.

"Arthur?" he asked, approaching the bed. Arthur was completely hidden under the duvet, only strands of his blond hair were visible.

"Arthur, is everything all right?"

Stifling a yawn, Arthur tried to act, as if he had just woken up. "Of course!"

"Why is your nightshirt wet, and what about this mess?" Merlin reproached him.

"Oh, I accidentally knocked the goblet over, and the first thing I found to mop the water up, was the nightshirt," Arthur replied quietly.

Merlin picked the shirt up. "You're pale. You haven't dreamed, have you?"

"No, I don't have nightmares, I've already told you that! Although I'm feeling slightly sick today. Maybe you can ask Gaius to examine me?"

Merlin raised his eyebrows. "You were feeling better yesterday! I can't be the wholesome food, can it? I don't feel ill. Gaius never cooks..."

"Merlin! Send Gaius to me. And clean this mess up!" Arthur shouted, and leaned his head back.

"Yes, Sire," Merlin said, grabbing the goblet, and went to Gaius.

A short time later, Gaius knocked on Arthur's door. "You wanted to see me, Sire?"

"Gaius, I think I caught a cold," Arthur explained. He was still lying in his bed, wrapped in his blanket.

"A cold? I need to examine you." Gaius opened his bag. "Please, take your shirt off, Sire, I want to listen to your chest."

Willingly, Arthur sat up, and got rid off his shirt. He really hoped that Gaius could tell him what was wrong with him.

Gaius put his ear-trumpet on Arthur's back and chest, and carefully listened to his heart. "That's strange. I cannot hear any abnormalities. Your heart might beat a little bit fast. Describe your symptoms, please," Gaius said, after he had looked into Arthur's eyes, and felt for his pulse.

"I'm worn out, feverish, and I start to shiver uncontrollably. Last night I could barely stand up," Arthur told him.

Gaius eyed him concerned. "And did you sleep well, Sire?"

"Not that bad," Arthur lied. "Can you tell me what's wrong, Gaius?"

Gaius knew why Arthur was feeling so poorly, but he couldn't tell him about his suspicion without having talked to Merlin first.

"I give you something that will calm your nerves. You should try to rest, and don't work too much today."

"Thank you, Gaius," Arthur said, thinking of how he could protect Merlin, when he was sick and dizzy.

"Merlin will bring you the potion, and you take it easy," Gaius said, and put everything back into his bag.

**xxx**

Merlin was waiting impatiently in Gaius chambers, and jumped up, as soon as the court physician had entered.

"How's Arthur?" he asked.

"I'm afraid I have been right. This is the work of a succubus," Gaius said seriously.

"Oh no!" Merlin turned white. "Now what?"

"Since Arthur's condition has worsened so quickly, it must be a very strong demon."

"Does that mean, I have to give up, and tell him about my magic?" Merlin asked, sagging his shoulders.

"Merlin," Gaius looked at him, the fear clearly visible on his face, "I think it's the only chance Arthur has. But I know what this means to you, and I am worried. You are like a son to me."

Merlin's insides churned painfully. "Gaius, I must do everything to protect Arthur. Maybe he will understand that magic is not always dangerous and evil."

Gaius blinked away the tears that were forming in his eyes. "I bet you're right."

"Besides," Merlin continued, "it is my fault. Someday Arthur would have found out the truth, anyway."

Gaius went to his shelf, took a vial that was filled with a blue liquid, and gave it to Merlin. "That's the sedative for Arthur. He will need it."

"Before or after I have told him about my magic?" Merlin joked, causing Gaius to chuckle.

Carefully, Merlin grasped the little bottle. "Wish me luck!"

**xxx**

Arthur tried to smile at him, as Merlin brought him the potion.

"Before you ask, I'm fine. I'm only tired."

Nervously, Merlin looked at him. "I need to tell you something," he began.

"What's wrong?" Arthur asked, immediately remembering his nightmare. He thought of Merlin, who had been stabbed cold-blooded by a stranger. Merlin, who was lying unmoving on the floor.

"You are feeling all right, or does anybody threaten you?"

Merlin, who was pondering on his confession, lifted his head, and stared at him. "Threaten? Why should anyone threaten me?"

"I don't know. You are the king's servant, and my enemies could try to use you to get to me."

"Uh...no, nobody is threatening me. It's about me, I..."

"That's good news." Arthur sighed relieved. "You will come to me immediately, if anyone approaches you."

"Yes, Sire," Merlin replied bemused. "But what I wanted to tell you..."

"Merlin, I'm not in the mood for talking right now. My head is killing me."

"Uh...um...of course. I will leave you alone, and come back later, when you're feeling better." Merlin forced a smile on his lips.

"Thank you, Merlin. Please take care of yourself," Arthur said, and leaned back. "And give me that potion."

**xxx**

Letting his shoulders sag, Merlin strolled through the castle, until he found himself in front of Lancelot's cell. Shyly, Merlin knocked on the door, and waited for his friend to let him in.

"Merlin!" Lancelot seemed happy to see him. "Please, come on in."

"Thank you. I need your advice," Merlin said, and followed the knight into the sparsely furnished room.

"Have a seat," Lancelot pointed at one of the two wooden chairs. "How can I help you?"

Merlin gratefully sat down. "It's about Arthur. Or better said, about my magic."

"Have you told him about it? What did he say?" Surprised, Lancelot's eyes widened.

"No, he doesn't know, or I wouldn't sit here but in the dungeons," Merlin mumbled.  
He told Lancelot about Arthur's dreams, and the incidents of the past few days.

Lancelot surveyed him carefully. "You know that I lied to Arthur. I never felt comfortable with that. Maybe it is time for you to tell him the truth so that you can achieve inner peace."

"Yes, I know what I must do, but I am afraid of how he might react." Merlin lowered his head, and clenched his hands into tight fists.

"Arthur has forgiven me, after I proved to him that I had good intentions. Why should he treat you differently?"

"He got taught that magic is evil and wrong. But I should try talking to him, instead of racking my brains," Merlin said.

"His father had told him that only nobles can become knights, and now look at me." Lancelot gently nudged him in the side.

"You are right, and I don't have any other choice," sighed Merlin, and stood up.

"You can always count on me, whenever you need help," Lancelot said, squeezing his arm.

"Thank you, Lancelot," Merlin said, and went back to Arthur's chambers.

**xxx**

When he entered Arthur's room, the king was sleeping in his chair. A roll of parchment, he had obviously studied, rested on his lap. Silently, Merlin crept closer, eying him worriedly.

Arthur's face was strained, and his hands were gripping the armrests so tightly that his knuckles had turned white.

"Merlin...No...Merlin?" Arthur suddenly whispered.

Merlin, who had reached out to touch him, flinched. "What is wrong, Arthur?"

But his friend didn't seem to hear him. That was when Merlin realized that Arthur had another nightmare. Hadn't he told him that everything was fine? Carefully, he laid his hand on Arthur's shoulder.

"Arthur, wake up. It's only a stupid dream," he quietly said, and gently shook him.

Arthur jerked awake. Exhausted but relieved, he looked at Merlin.

"Merlin, there you are," he murmured, running a hand over his face.

"Arthur..." Merlin swallowed. "I really need to talk to you."

"I've still got headaches," Arthur groaned, ignoring what Merlin had said.

"It is important, Arthur. It could help you with the pain."

"Merlin, why don't you do me a favour, and shut your cheeky mouth? That would really help me."

"As you wish, Sire. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

Merlin sulked, because Arthur treated him, as if he only was his stupid servant.

"No...although, I do have one more request. Don't go into the throne room...it got cleaned today, and I don't want you to mess it up again."

Annoyed, Merlin stared at Arthur. "My Lord, I only enter the throne room, when you are there, too. You should know that."

"I'm glad you understand." Arthur noticed that the discussion was debilitating him more and more, and he was longing for a relaxing sleep. "I don't need you anymore."

Merlin became aware of the fact that Arthur hadn't eaten anything. The King was pale and shivered slightly. "What about supper?"

"I'm not hungry. I think I retire. Tell Gaius that his potion has worked. I'm feeling better."

"As you wish. I see to you tomorrow. Good night, Sire," Merlin said, bowed to him, and left Arthur alone.

**xxx**

Without a word, Merlin crossed Gaius' chambers, and directly went to his room. Gaius shook his head.

"Don't you want to talk about it, Merlin?" he asked through the closed door.

"There's nothing to talk about. Arthur didn't listen to me," Merlin called back.

**xxx**

Meanwhile, Arthur sat at his desk, staring vacantly into the distance.

He was afraid of losing Merlin. What if he couldn't help him? He was astonished that Merlin had become so important to him. Only a few people could look behind his arrogant and superficial facade. Usually he didn't care much about his servants, and he was never interested in them.

But Merlin had been the first, who hadn't been intimidated by his title. He had treated him like every other citizen.

It had been easy to trust Merlin, although he couldn't really tell why.

He buried his head in his hands. He needed to find a way to save his friend.

All of a sudden, he heard someone calling his name. His hands started to tremble. Slowly, he stood up. What if Merlin was in trouble right now? What if his dream came true tonight? He had to make sure Merlin was safe. He stumbled to the door, and dashed out.

The candles created a warm glow. He staggered through the corridors, supporting himself on the rough stonewalls.  
His pulse was racing. As he rounded a corner, he nearly bumped into the night patrol. Quickly, he hid in a niche, sucking in a shaky breath.

"Arthur." The voice in his head called him. "Arthur."

Could it be Merlin? Was he calling for help?  
Arthur took a deep breath, and continued the search for his friend.

Finally, he reached the throne room. His strength was leaving him rapidly, and he could barely push the doors open.

His eyes darted around the room, and he expected to find Merlin's lifeless body, but Merlin was nowhere to be seen.

"Merlin! Are you here?" Arthur shouted. Suddenly, the doors banged shut, trapping him in the throne room.

He felt for his sword, but he had left it in his chambers.

"Is there anybody?" he asked, as he slowly turned around.

**xxx**

Merlin was tossing and turning in his bed, and couldn't fall asleep. He sensed that something was wrong. A strange magical presence was somewhere in this castle. Quickly, he jumped out of his bed. He needed to get to Arthur.

**xxx**

Arthur could barely stand, and swayed.

"You are weak, Arthur Pendragon," a voice scoffed at him.

Again, he spun round, and this time he could see the glowing creature from the forest.

"You!" Arthur spat through clenched teeth. "Where is Merlin?"

"Merlin? Merlin will be your ruin." The woman laughed.

"What do you mean by that?" Exhausted, Arthur sank to his knees.

"He is a coward, and he prefers denying what he is." The creature lifted its arm, and Arthur writhed in pain.

"You don't know Merlin," Arthur panted. "He has always been loyal to me."

The woman smirked. "I don't know Merlin? You are mistaken, Arthur."

**xxx**

Without hesitating, Merlin entered Arthur's chambers. "Arthur? Arthur, where are you?"

As he discovered Arthur's empty bed, his pulse quickened. He closed his eyes, and concentrated on the foreign magic. The presence had grown stronger.

He dashed out of the room.  
Faster, and faster, he ran through the corridors. The magic led him to the throne room.

He could hear voices, and tried to wrench the doors open, but they had been locked from the inside. Closing his eyes, Merlin directed his magic towards the door. As he stretched out his arm, and tore his eyes open, they were glowing bright orange.

The doors flew open.

"Arthur!" He stifled his cry of surprise. His friend was on all fours in the middle of the room.

He wanted to rush to his side, but then he discovered the succubus, who hovered a few inches from the floor right next to Arthur.

"Leave him alone," he shouted at the demon.

"Merlin, get out," Arthur croaked. He was pale as a sheet, squirming with pain.

"Arthur, please listen to me," Merlin desperately cried.

The succubus snickered amused. "You are too late, Merlin."

"No!" Merlin screamed. He was close to tears, as he tried to somehow get to Arthur.

Arthur groaned, and crumpled to the floor. Not being able to stand up again, he lied there, his breathing shallow and fast.

Throwing all caution to the winds, Merlin darted at him.

"Arthur, I am so sorry. I never wanted to put you in danger," he said, his voice quivering.

With fluttering eyelids, Arthur looked at him. "What are you talking about? Get … out," he rasped.

"Arthur, please forgive me. I should have told you earlier."

"What?" Arthur tired to keep his eyes open, but he became weaker, and was close to passing out.

The succubus floated towards Merlin, its eyes dark with loathing. "It's too late. I will kill him first, before I take you out."

Merlin had never felt so much hatred and love all at once. His feelings aroused his magic. It became so powerful, he could hardly control it. The whole throne room seemed to vibrate.

Confused, Arthur lifted his head, and looked at Merlin. He was trembling madly, and his body glowed orange, as if it was on fire. Merlin let out a guttural scream, as the magic left his body, and crashed into the succubus.

The succubus screeched, and slowly lost its magical powers.

"Merlin," Arthur gasped, "you have...that's...You are a..."

"sorcerer," Merlin finished the sentence for him, feeling completely spent.

A gust of wind seized the succubus, swirling it around. It let out a shrill shriek,, before it vanished into thin air.

Arthur stared at Merlin, as if he had changed into a nasty gnome. "You are a sorcerer?" he repeated disbelievingly.

"Yes, Arthur," Merlin breathed, waiting for Arthur's reaction.

"Why?" Arthur mumbled, before his head sank back to the floor, and he lost consciousness.

"Arthur! Arthur!" Merlin slapped his cheek to wake him up, but Arthur didn't stir.

**xxx**

Merlin tried to calm down, and concentrated on lifting Arthur's rigid body by using magic. He was confused and worried, and it took all of his energy to return Arthur to his room. Gently, he laid him on his bed, and covered him with a blanket.

Then he ran to Gaius, woke him up, and told him what had happened.

Instantly, Gaius followed Merlin back to Arthur's chambers to examine the king.

As soon as they entered, Merlin whispered: "Bærne" to light the candles.

Arthur was still unconscious. His skin was ghostly pale in the flickering light. Gaius came closer, and felt his sweaty forehead. "He's running a light fever," he said, and grasped Arthur's arm to take his pulse. "His pulse is steady and strong. I cannot do much for him. Just let him rest. His body needs to restore its energy."

"I will stay with him," Merlin decided, and sat down on a chair.

"Merlin you need to rest, too," Gaius noticed.

"I can't sleep now," Merlin objected, his eyes never leaving Arthur's face.

"Very well then," Gaius sighed, "don't overdo it, and call me as soon as he wakes up."

"I'll do that," Merlin promised, leaning back, and crossing his arms in front of his chest.

He thought about Arthur's reaction. "Why?"

What could he have meant by that?  
Why he was a sorcerer?

Why he hadn't told him earlier?

Why he had told him?

Merlin felt drained and exhausted. Not only the use of magic had debilitated him; the fear that Arthur could sentence him to death, nearly drove him over the edge.

He didn't want to die – not like this. Merlin looked at Arthur. Was he really capable of killing him? Suddenly, Merlin had doubts. What had he been thinking, as he had told Arthur about his secret? Maybe Arthur wasn't ready, yet. Maybe he should have waited. Maybe he could have defeated the succubus otherwise. What should he do?

Arthur needed to understand that he had only wanted to save his life. Arthur couldn't take him to court. What if Arthur expelled him? What if he banished him from Camelot like Lancelot and Gwaine?  
Merlin couldn't imagine living outside of Camelot - without Arthur – anymore. His stomach churned at these thoughts. Where should he go? He couldn't go back to Ealdor. He had never fit in there.

He sighed.

The most important thing was that he had saved Arthur's life, and that his king would get better, soon.

Merlin was so tired. If he closed his eyes for a moment, only for a short moment...

**xxx**

He opened his eyes, and flinched, as he saw Arthur staring at him.

"Sire, how...how are you?" he asked unsure.

Arthur didn't answer him, but continued looking at him. His eyes flashed furiously.

"Sire? Are you in pain?" Merlin asked.

"Out," Arthur whispered coldly.

"What?" Merlin mouthed, because he wasn't sure if he had understood Arthur correctly.

"Out, Merlin," Arthur hissed through clenched teeth.

"Is there anything you need? Shall I get you something?" Merlin's voice was shaking.

Arthur tried to keep his temper, and answered:" Get out, Merlin. I don't care whereto, but get out of my sight!"

Slowly, Merlin stood up. "But Arthur, we need to talk about last night."

Arthur jumped out of his bed, and drew his sword that he kept at his bedpost.  
Threateningly, he lunged at him. His eyes were glazed over with blank hatred and bitter disappointment.

Merlin was unable to move, and could only stare wide-eyed at Arthur, as he grabbed him by the throat, and raised his sword.

"You miserable traitor," he panted, and pushed Merlin against the wall. "How could you..."

Merlin tried to free himself, and wheezed: "Arthur...Arthur, please. I can explain..."

Arthur abruptly stopped, and blinked, as if he had realized only now, who he was choking. He let go off Merlin, who gasped for air, massaging his sore throat.

"No, Merlin," Arthur said devastated. "Not now...Leave me alone."

Merlin had never seen him that hurt.

"I will leave now, and send Gaius to you, so that he can look after you," Merlin mumbled, and shuffled to the door, hanging his head.

**xxx**

Gaius was having breakfast, when Merlin entered.

"Arthur is awake, and I will sleep now," he said, padding past Gaius, who looked at him with raised eyebrows.

After Gaius had knocked on Arthur's door, he cautiously entered. Arthur was sitting on his mattress, staring into space.

"Good morning, Sire. Merlin seemed to be worried. Are you all right?" the court physician asked.

"Merlin?" Arthur winced, because he hadn't noticed Gaius standing in his room. Suddenly, his expression changed, and became cold and repellent.

"Did you know that Merlin is a sorcerer?"

Gaius took a deep breath. So that was what had troubled Merlin. "Yes, Sire. But please believe me that Merlin has never..."

Harshly, Arthur cut him off: "Get out, Gaius! My father may have given you a second chance, but that you are still supporting magic is too much."

Shocked, Gaius looked at him. He tried to keep his voice down. "Sire, please calm down. Yesterday, you have been very weak. It's a miracle that you already regained consciousness. I need to examine you, and make sure you are really feeling better."

"Why does everybody act up with me?" Arthur shouted, his voice shaking with anger. "I gave you an order! If you don't leave immediately, I'll have you removed from my chambers."

"As you wish, Sire. You know where you can find me, and Merlin." Gaius bowed to him, and left Arthur's chambers.

Arthur sank back into the cushions, and closed his eyes. Merlin had betrayed his trust. He had lied to him from the very first day they had met. Gaius, whom he had know his whole life, had deceived him. How should he ever be able to trust them again?

The worst thing was that he couldn't allow magic in his kingdom, and therefore needed to punish Merlin.

Arthur buried his face in his hands. Merlin had always helped him to banish magic from Camelot. Merlin had always agreed with him that magic didn't have a future here.

But he also knew that Merlin would have never hurt nor harmed him. Still, he was a sorcerer, and the thought of Merlin manipulating him or his subjects with the wave of his hand, gave him headaches.

Slowly, Arthur stood up, put on his shirt, and called for the guards.

**xxx**

Gaius sat at his table, finishing his porridge. He had tried to talk to Merlin, but the young warlock had locked his door, and didn't want to see him.

There was a loud knock on his door. Without waiting for an answer, a guard pushed it open.

He and another armed guard burst into the room. Startled, Gaius dropped his spoon.

"Where is Merlin?" one of them asked.

Gaius froze. "In his room..." he stammered. "But what are you doing?"

"King's orders, " the second guard replied, while they crossed the room, and banged on Merlin's door.

When Merlin opened, Gaius' heart sank. Merlin had cried. His eyes were red-rimmed and swollen, and his pale skin nearly translucent.

The two guards grabbed him under his arms, and dragged him to the door.

"Gaius?" he asked confused.

Crestfallen, Gaius shook his head.

"Where are you taking me?" Merlin shouted desperately, because no one answered him.

"To the dungeons," said one of the guards, roughly yanking his arm, causing him to stumble.

"Gaius...help me," Merlin whispered, before the door fell shut.

**xxx**

Arthur nodded bitterly, as the guard told him that they had thrown Merlin in the dungeons. He waited, until they had left him alone, before he leaned his back against the wall, and slowly slid to the floor.

He wanted Merlin gone. He couldn't look him in the eye anymore. He could never trust him again. He had thought Merlin was his friend. He had been so stupid.

As king of Camelot he couldn't lie to his people, and he didn't want to protect Merlin's magic.

According to the laws his father had established, he had to sentence Merlin to death.

Angrily, he hit his head against the wall. The pain that was racking through his body, momentarily numbed the frustration and sadness.

No, he was not like his father. He would give Merlin a choice. Either Merlin left Camelot, or he had to take him to court.

Arthur bit his lower lip. He needed to talk to Merlin, and tell him about his decision.

When he opened the door, he met Gaius, who had waited for him.

"Sire," Gaius began hesitantly. "may I ask..."

"No, Gaius. Just go. I will speak to you later."

Gaius bowed to him, but before he left, he quickly said:" Merlin would never betray you. He needs you, and you need him."

Arthur sighed. "He should have never deceived me. And I feared for his life!"

"Merlin has risked his life to save yours. I'm begging you, Arthur. Please, spare him. It was my fault that he hasn't told you about it earlier."

"Later, Gaius," stopped him with a wave of his hand. "I need to talk to Merlin first."

Again, Gaius bowed to him, and retreated.

**xxx**

Slowly, Arthur took the steps down to the dungeons. The air reeked of urine and sweat, of tears and desperation.

The torches cast dancing shadows on the rough stonewalls. A rat ran over his feet, squeaking madly.

He dismissed the guards, so that he could talk to Merlin in privacy.

Merlin squatted in one corner. The thin straw could not keep him warm, because he was shivering violently. His eyes were closed, and he opened them hesitantly, as he noticed someone standing at the bars.

Arthur cleared his throat.

"Merlin, I...how are you?" he asked concerned. His anger and hatred had vanished into thin air, as soon as he had seen the state Merlin was in.

Merlin tiredly smiled at him. "Not that good, I guess...I don't know what to say, Arthur." Clumsily, he got up, and took one step forward.

"I hope you understand that you can no longer be me servant, Merlin," Arthur said, avoiding to look at him.

"Of course," Merlin quietly replied. "You are not going to...execute me?"

"No!" Arthur quickly said, before he realized that he had no other choice, if Merlin refused to leave Camelot.

Nervously, he ran his hand through his hair. "All these years, you've been a good friend – at least that's what I thought. But you need to leave Camelot immediately, or I...I have to comply with the law."

"I must go? But where to?" Merlin asked with a breathy voice.

"I don't know," Arthur said. "I will give you a horse, supplies, and your wages. That's all I can do for you."

"Arthur, please let me stay. I would never..." Merlin began shocked.

"No, Merlin. Haven't you heard a word I just said? You must go. I will fetch the horse and get the food, then I will let you out," Arthur cut him off, and finally dared to look at Merlin.

Merlin had wrapped both arms around his skinny body. His eyes were filled with tears.

Arthur sighed, and turned away.

"Arthur, I only wanted to protect you. I must protect you. Please don't cast me out," Merlin begged.

Distressed, Arthur closed his eyes. "I can take care of myself."

Merlin opened his mouth to explain to him how many times, he had helped Arthur, but he felt that the king didn't want to argue with him.

"All right...I.." Merlin sniffed, "I just stay here and wait."

**xxx**

After a short while, Merlin heard somebody coming down the stairs.

"Arthur has made an effort to hurry up," he thought desperately.

However, it was not Arthur, who appeared at his cell, but Gaius.

"Merlin, I am so sorry," the court physician said, his voice trembling.

Merlin looked at him. "You know that magic is banned from Camelot. Arthur didn't have a choice..."

"What has Arthur said to you? He is not going to hang you, is he?" Gaius was horrified.

Merlin jumped to his feet, rushed to the bars, and felt for Gaius' hand. "No. He's sending me away. But I don't want to go."

"I know, my boy, but I feared the worst." Gently, Gaius stroked Merlin's cold hand.

"Gaius, I don't know what to do. I need you, and I must protect Arthur. Maybe it would be better, if he sentenced me to death..."

Shocked, Gaius stared at him. "Merlin, please don't say that. You will soon find a place to live, and some work. I will talk to Arthur, and try to bring him to his senses."

Merlin nodded doubtingly, and blinked the tears away that welled up in his eyes. "Thank you, Gaius. For everything. You were like a father and a good friend to me. I will miss you."

"I will miss you, too. I thank your mother for sending you to me. You are a great wizard, Merlin. Believe me, you will fulfill your destiny, and we will see each other again." Gaius swallowed, and squeezed his hand tightly.

"I hope so, Gaius. Please take care of yourself."

"You, too, Merlin. You, too," Gaius replied, as he let go off Merlin, and looked at him one last time.

**xxx**

Arthur appeared as soon as Gaius had left him. His bunch of keys rattled in his hand. Quickly, he shoved the right key into the hole, and opened the door.

"The horse is saddled. Here are your wages," he said, shoving a small leather pouch into Merlin's clammy hands.

"Thank you," Merlin whispered numbly, stuffing the pouch into his trouser pocket. "Thank you that you don't..."

A wry smile crept over Arthur's face. "Farewell, Merlin."

"Goodbye, Sire," Merlin replied, pushing past Arthur.

Hesitatingly, Arthur reached out, and patted Merlin's shoulder He felt Merlin wincing under his touch, and sadly lowered his hand.

"Arthur," Merlin murmured, turning around, "I am sorry."

Arthur shook his head. "Please go now."

**xxx**

Grudgingly, Merlin went upstairs. His heart was throbbing in his chest. Nobody seemed to notice him, as he shuffled to the horse, Arthur had prepared for him. Cautiously, he lifted his head, and looked at the glamorous castle walls. He remembered the countless times, he had ran across the courtyard, because he didn't want to keep neither Arthur nor Gaius waiting. He thought of dragging around Arthur's equipment, nearly collapsing under the heavy weight. He remembered the first time he had met Arthur, the arrogant and spoiled prat.

Merlin sighed, untethered the horse, and was about to mount it, when Lancelot hurried down the flight of stairs.

"Merlin...Gaius told me that you're leaving. What has Arthur..." he shouted clearly out of breath.

"Lancelot, please don't ask," Merlin interrupted him, before his friend could pose his question.

"Gaius can explain everything to you."

"I'm sorry, Merlin", said Lancelot, who thought of his own farewell. "I can talk to Arthur, if you want me to."

"Thank you, Lancelot. Please, don't tell Arthur that you know my secret. I don't want to get you in trouble."

"Oh, Merlin, you have always believed in me, and even if everybody abandons you, I will always stay your friend."

"Thank you, Lancelot. That means a lot to me. Please promise me to do everything to protect Arthur."

"You can always rely on me. I will guard him with my life. Take care of yourself," said Lancelot, and hugged him.

"Farewell, Lancelot," Merlin replied, and mounted his horse.

Lancelot remained standing in the courtyard, waiting until Merlin had disappeared through the archway. Merlin turned around, and sadly looked back to the castle. No matter how many times he had complained about Arthur and his work, Camelot had become his home, and he had liked working here. And now he didn't know where to go.

**xxx**

He rode around aimlessly. By now he knew the forest of Camelot by heart. It would take him two days to reach the border.

Merlin decided to ride until nightfall, before he would set up a camp. He had been here with Arthur so many times. Sometimes, he had been sad, sometimes excited, and sometimes happy. But he had never been so lonely and lost before. The once so familiar forest seemed dark and dangerous to him. Merlin spurred his horse into a gallop to withstand the temptation to slow down and turn around.

He passed streams, clearings and strangely formed trees. The path ascended steeply, and made a sharp bend. The rock, in which he had rammed Excalibur, had to be down there somewhere. Chuckling, Merlin thought of the trick he had used to give Arthur his faith back. His stomach was twisting painfully, as he remembered convincing Arthur of being a special person. Not only to Camelot. Not to the citizens, or the knights. No, Arthur also was a special person to him.

The sun slowly set, and Merlin only stopped to drink some fresh water. As he was kneeling at the bank of a stream, trying to refill his water skin, he registered a movement out from the corner of his eye. Hastily, he spun around, and stared into the fading light, but he couldn't see anything.

He quickly mounted his horse. He still had time, before the sun would have set completely. He needed to find a place for the night. Right in front of him was a small clearing, surrounded by dark rocks. In one of the steep faces, Merlin discovered a little cave. He tied his horse to a tree, and entered the cave.

"Léoth," he whispered, conjuring a glowing orb on his palm.

He scrutinized the inside of the cave. Water was slowly dripping from the ceiling, but he found a dry niche, which would at least shelter him from the cold wind. Merlin brought his supplies and his bag into the cave, and began to look for some firewood.

As he bent down to pick up a twig, he heard a loud crackling.

Again, he spun round, but he couldn't see anybody, and there was no magical presence. Feeling queasy, he walked back to the cave. He piled up the wood, and coaxed the fire with a mumbled "Forbearnan" to burn.

How should he survive in the future? There was nothing else he was good at. He would have never become Arthur's servant, if he hadn't used his magic to save his life.

Suddenly, he got an idea. He scrambled to his feet, and left the cave. He stood in the middle of the clearing, and called the dragon. "O drakon, e male so ftengometta tesd'hup'anankes!"

The treetops bent, as the dragon soared through the air. He fiercely flapped his wings, and landed at Merlin's feet. With narrowed eyes, he looked at Merlin.

"You have changed, young warlock," he stated. "Why did you let yourself go, Merlin?"

"Very funny!" Merlin remarked. "I need your advice."

"You have made your decision, Merlin. Now you have to live with the consequences," the dragon said.

"I didn't have a choice! But I don't know, where I shall go, and what to do now," Merlin screamed.

"You always get yourself into trouble, and then you ask for my advice," the dragon calmly replied.

"I couldn't let Arthur die!"

"You've put Arthur in danger. Your magic has become stronger, Merlin, and you have to be more careful," the dragon said.

"So I have to keep away from Arthur to help myself?"

"You must do what you deem is right. Arthur is your destiny, and that will never change," the dragon said, spread his wings, and flew away.

"Thank you for your useful help," Merlin shouted at him.

Devastated, he went back to the cave, unrolled his blanket, and lied down.

**xxx**

After a sleepless and uncomfortable night on the hard ground, Merlin ate a slice of bread with cheese, and packed his belongings together.

He watered his horse, and swung himself in the saddle to continue his journey.

The weather suddenly changed. An icy wind was blowing furiously in his face. A thunderstorm was coming.

Lightnings flashed over the black sky. Heavy raindrops splattered to the ground. Merlin pulled his neckerchief up to his nose to protect himself from the cold wind. For a moment, he let go off the reins.

And then everything happened too fast. Growling thunder rolled over the sky, loud and threatening like a cannon blast. His horse shied at the noise, and reared up.

Merlin was jerked from the saddle. He was so stunned that he couldn't even react. A searing pain shot through his left leg, as he twisted it. A soft moan was drawn from his lips, when his head connected with the hard ground. Almost instantly, Merlin lost consciousness.

His horse broke into a gallop, its eyes wide, nostrils flared.

**xxx**

"Sire, I am sorry to disturb you. Here's your breakfast..."

Arthur rolled his eyes. His new servant was undoubtedly vigilant and endeavoured, but he was so submissive and anxious that he flinched every time, Arthur talked to him.

He had seen Ian, as he had strolled over the market. The plump boy with the red hair had attracted his attention, because he had helped an old woman picking up the apples that had fallen out of her basket.

Arthur had approached him, and made him his new servant.

"Thank you. You may go now, and think..." There was a loud bang, as Ian stumbled over the candle stand, just as he had the day before, and dropped the empty tray.

"I am so sorry, Sire." Ian quickly got up, and bowed to him.

Arthur shook his head, and thought of Merlin, who had been as clumsy as Ian, but he had never crawled away from him, feeling ashamed and awestruck.

"It's all right, Ian. Don't forget that I will go on a hunting trip with Sir Gwaine. You will accompany us."

Ian collided with the door frame. "My Lord, I am not very skilled with handling horses, but I will always be at your service."

He bowed again, and left the room. One moment later, somebody knocked at the door. Arthur looked up.

"Ian, I don't need you anymore. Leave me alone."

"Ian? Was that the boy, who looked like the picture of misery?" Gwaine asked amused, as he pushed his head through the door.

"My new servant, a real idiot," Arthur said sighing.

"I know someone, who would be perfect for this job," Gwaine replied.

Arthur shot him a dirty look. "Why are you here, Gwaine?"

Gwaine ignored Arthur's threatening undertone, and friendly said: "I wanted to talk to you about the hunt. When do you want to leave?"

"We will ride at first light, and if we are lucky, we might catch some well nourished pheasants," Arthur said calmly.

"Great. And...you think that your new servant can meet the challenge?" Gwaine asked doubtfully. "He looks as if a squirrel could scare him off."

Arthur jumped to his feet. "I am sure he can do it. Ian only needs more experience."

"Arthur..." Gwaine became angry. "Why don't you bring Merlin back? Why did you have to banish him from Camelot?"

"You wouldn't understand, Gwaine, but believe me: I had my reasons. Now go, and be on time tomorrow. I don't want to fetch you from the tavern," Arthur said bitterly.

Gwaine ignored him. "Merlin is your and my friend, Arthur. Aren't you worried about him?"

"I really appreciate you, Gwaine, but about whom I worry, is my decision alone," Arthur snapped at him.

"But it gets colder every day. What if Mer..."

"Are you really that slow-witted?" Arthur hissed. "I don't want to hear this name again."

"As you wish, _Sire_," Gwaine hissed. It came to his mind, why he sometimes hated smart-aleck nobles. He bowed his head, and flounced out of the room.

**xxx**

Merlin slit his eyes open, and quickly closed them, as the bright light blinded him. Where was he? And why did everything hurt?

Moaning softly, he tried to remember what had happened.

His horse... He had fallen off his horse.

Slowly, he sat up. His shirt was clinging to his chest, and he was cold. His vision blurred before his eyes, and he sank back on the muddy ground.

Closing his eyes, he fell into an exhausted sleep.

**xxx**

It was nearly night, when Merlin slowly came to. He was freezing. If he stayed here, he would die. He tried to bring himself into a sitting position, but his whole body was so stiff and cold that he did not succeed. His wet clothes were covered with tiny, sparkling ice crystals. He narrowed his eyes, and mumbled a warming spell.

His teeth were chattering madly, and he could see his breath. It was hopeless. He was too weak to use his magic to warm himself. The only thing he achieved was a little flame dancing on his palm, and licking at his fingers. Tears welled up in his eyes.

If he hadn't told Arthur about his magic, he would be in his own, cozy, bed in Camelot.

**xxx**

The next day, Arthur was in a foul mood. Ian had forgotten to stoke up the fire, and it had died during the night. Arthur had woken up, shivering and trembling.

Gwaine's words echoed through his head. Was Merlin all right? He didn't even own a coat. What if he was still out there? But Merlin was a sorcerer. Surely, he would do something against the cold.

He tried to not think of him, and decided to put on his armor.

"Merlin!" he instinctively called out for his servant. Annoyed, he clenched his fists. "Ian! I need my breakfast, and I must dress."

One moment later, Ian dashed into the room, carrying a plate with sausages, bacon and eggs. "So...sorry, Sire, I am late. Sir Gwaine showed me how to saddle a horse...Do you expect company? You mentioned someone else just now. Will your visitor have breakfast with you? I could..." Ian babbled excited.

Slowly, Arthur regretted, choosing Ian as his new servant. "No, I am alone. Go to the kitchen, and fetch some supplies. Today, I will dress myself alone."

A short time later, Arthur stepped down the stairs that led to the courtyard. Ian had saddled two horses, and was waiting patiently for him.

Gwaine was leaning on the wall, and greeted Arthur with a short nod. Just as Arthur walked to him to talk to him, Lancelot led his horse into the courtyard.

"Sire, may I join you?" he asked politely.

Arthur's mood sank even more, and he glared at Gwaine, who was responsible for Lancelot's appearance.

"As long as you want to go on a hunting trip, and not look for a certain person..." he mumbled.

Grinning, Gwaine shrugged his shoulders. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Sire."

Arthur sighed. "All right. Lancelot you can come with us. Let's get going already."

The four of them left the castle, and rode into the forest. The sun hadn't come up, yet, and thick fog crept over the ground.

Gwaine had been right. They constantly had to wait for Ian, who couldn't gain control over his horse.

**xxx**

Finally, Arthur beckoned them to stop. Relieved, Gwaine dismounted, and looked around.

While Ian was busy tethering the horses, Gwaine discovered a knobby apple tree, still bearing some apples.

Smiling, he stepped on the tree root, stretched out his arm to harvest one apple.

Arthur gave his crossbow to Ian so that he could take a sip of his water.

Satisfied, Gwaine polished his apple with his sleeve, and took a huge bite.

There was a loud snap. The sound echoed loudly through the quiet woods.

Letting out a frightened squeak, Ian flinched, and spun round.

He let go of the crossbow. It landed on the ground with a thud. Sizzling, the arrow soared through the air.  
Lancelot's eyes widened. "Arthur, look out!" Quickly, the knight threw himself against Arthur, who stared at him quizzically.  
Together they hit the rough ground. The arrow whizzed past their heads, and got stuck in Gwaine's apple tree.

Raising his eyebrows questioningly, Gwaine looked at the arrow, then to his apple, and finally to Lancelot and Arthur.  
Hastily, he threw the apple away. "It wasn't me," he said innocently.

Arthur pushed Lancelot aside, and lunged at Ian. "You are worthless," he hissed angrily. "What on earth is so difficult at holding my crossbow? You nearly killed me!"

Ian bit back the tears forming in his eyes. "So...sorry, Sire," he stammered.

Arthur shook his head. "And what have you done?" he asked Gwaine.

Gwaine swallowed the last bit, and shrugged his shoulders. "It's not my fault that your new servant is a wimp."

Arthur rolled his eyes, and picked up his crossbow. "Stay away from me," he hissed at Gwaine and Ian, and turned back to Lancelot, who was scrambling to his feet. "Come, Lancelot. We need to keep going, if we want to hunt something."

Dusting off his trousers, he continued: "Thank you, Lancelot. You saved my life."

"It was an honour, Sire," Lancelot replied. "Besides, I promised Merlin to protect you with my life."

"Merlin?" Arthur inquired unsure.

Contritely, Lancelot looked at Arthur. "Yes, I could bid goodbye to him, before he had to leave."

"What has he told you?" Quickly, Arthur looked back, but Gwaine and Ian were out of earshot.

"He didn't have much time," Lancelot avoided an answer. Arthur grimaced, as Lancelot continued: "Wasn't there any other option, Sire?"

"If there had been any, I wouldn't have sent him away."

"But Sire, Merlin has always been a loyal servant. He would have never done anything to harm you," Lancelot said quietly.

"He hasn't told you anything..." Arthur stated. "Merlin has betrayed me."

"My Lord?" Lancelot asked anxiously. "Gaius has told me that Merlin has saved you."

Thoughtfully, Arthur looked at him. "Yes, he has. However, it is difficult for me to trust him anymore. He has lied to me all these years."

"But," Lancelot piped up, "have you never thought about how difficult it had been for Merlin to keep his ma...his abilities secret?"

Dumbfounded, Arthur stared at him. "You knew?"

"Yes, my Lord. Merlin has helped me, too. And I have not abandoned him," Lancelot said, and his voice sounded unfamiliar bitter.

"That's completely different," snapped Arthur. "Am I the only one that didn't know that Merlin is a sorcerer?"

"No, Sire," Lancelot said forgivingly. "Merlin gave his best to keep his secret. He knew that the use of magic is forbidden."

"And who knows it besides you and Gaius? Gwen? Leon? Gwaine? Why hasn't he told me?"

"No one, Sire. What was Merlin supposed to do? If he had told you the truth, you would have sentenced him to death."

Tiredly, Arthur ran a hand through his hair. "I..don't know. But I can't go on, as if nothing has happened."

Carefully, Lancelot grabbed Arthur's arm, and forced him to stop. "Sire, you have given me a second chance, although I lied to you, and betrayed you. I have always trusted in you."

"I will think about that, Lancelot." Arthur shook his hand off. "Please, let's not talk about Merlin anymore. We should take a short break," Arthur suggested, as he saw Gwaine trudging behind Ian, who looked, as if had been put in the stocks for three days.

They sat down on two fallen tree trunks close to a stream, waiting for Gwaine and Ian to catch up with them. Sighing, Gwaine sat down next to Lancelot. "Our hunting trip has not been very successful, yet," he noted.

Lancelot smiled softly. "Don't be too harsh on Ian. He is trying his best."

"Ha!" Gwaine shouted, and Ian, who had tended to the horses, winced.

"Look at him, Lancelot. Merlin could not be so easily startled."

Lancelot sighed, and stood up. "I will collect some firewood," he offered.

Arthur didn't seem to listen to him. He had taken of his gloves, and was drawing circles on the tree bark. Sadly, he thought of the many times, he had stopped here with Merlin.

**xxx**

Lancelot went deeper into the woods. Suddenly, he heard a quiet neigh. Carefully, he crept closer. A few moments later, a horse was limping towards him. The reins were ripped, and it was covered in blood and sweat. Bags and blankets were still fastened to the saddle.

Straightway, Lancelot know whose horse this was.

Slowly, because he didn't want to scare the animal, he tiptoed towards it, and grabbed the reins. The horse snorted, and calmed down, as Lancelot felt for any broken bones.

The horse had some minor scratches, and a deeper wound that was still bleeding on his foreleg.  
Obviously, the horse had shied, and tumbled, as it had tried to get away.

"Merlin, are you here?" he shouted. Nobody answered him.

"Merlin!" he tried again. That was when he discovered a weak flickering. He bound the horse to a tree, and rushed to the light.

He gaped in shock, as he saw Merlin lying on the ground. He was pale as a ghost. The little flame, dancing on his palm, slowly extinguished.  
Lancelot ran to him, and knelt next to him. "Merlin! Merlin, please wake up."

Merlin's eyelids fluttered. "Arthur, you've finally found me."

Lancelot shrunk back. "Hold on, Merlin. I get the king."

******xxx**

Arthur was teaching Ian, how to use a crossbow, when Lancelot stumbled towards them. He was calling his name over and over again.

Alarmingly, Arthur and Gwaine looked up.

"What's wrong, Lancelot?" Arthur asked.

"Merlin," he croaked. "I've found him. He's hurt...he's hurt bad, Sire."

Immediately, Arthur jumped to his feet, almost dropping the crossbow. "Merlin?" he repeated disbelievingly.

"Yes, my Lord," Lancelot panted. "Follow me."

"Who is Merlin?" Ian asked, but nobody was paying any attention to him.

"Ian, you stay here. We will be back, soon." Arthur and Gwaine followed Lancelot.

Anxiously, Ian watched them disappear between two trees. He didn't want to stay alone in dark woods.

******xxx**

"Merlin! Merlin!" Arthur sank to his knees next to his former servant. Suddenly, images of his nightmares were shooting through his head. Merlin, who was dying in his arms. Merlin, who was lying lifelessly in front of him. His heart began to race. In his dreams, he had tried to save Merlin, and he had always failed.

Quickly, he shook his head. This was no dream.

Merlin was alive. Merlin was alive, and needed his help.

Worried, he took Merlin's hand, and felt his forehead.  
"What has happened...he's cold as ice. Why is he so cold?" Arthur stammered.

Merlin groaned, and struggled to open his eyes. "Arthur," he whispered barely audible. "Arthur, I am so sorry."

"Shhh, Merlin. Don't try to talk," Arthur said, softly caressing his cheek.

"We need to bring him back to Camelot!" Arthur stood up, and looked at Gwaine and Lancelot.

"Of course, Sire." Gently, Gwaine lifted him up. Lancelot untied the horse, and led it back to their resting spot.

As they reached it, Arthur noticed with a hint of surprise that Ian had packed everything together, and was ready to go.

"Well done, Ian," he mumbled, before he ordered Lancelot to ride with Merlin on his horse.

Gwaine was riding in front, leading Merlin's horse. He didn't care about the stupid hunting trip or the clumsy servant. He wasn't even angry with Arthur anymore. He felt miserable. Once Merlin was safe in Camelot, he would visit the tavern, and drown his sorrows in alcohol.

Merlin hung limply in Lancelot's arms. Soft moans escaped his lips, as the horse stumbled on the uneven ground.

Arthur, who was riding right next to Lancelot, kept his eyes glued to him.

Ian, who still hadn't got a clue, what had happened, slowly followed them.

They returned to Camelot in the late afternoon.

**xxx**

Arthur ignored Ian, and hurried behind Gwaine, and Lancelot, who was carrying Merlin, into the castle.

"Bring him to my chambers," he told them, before fetching Gaius.

"Arthur, what's the matter?" Gaius asked surprised, when the King burst into his room.

"Merlin...it's Merlin. Gaius, you must help him," he shouted breathlessly.

"Merlin?" Gaius eyes widened, and he immediately grabbed his bag, and followed Arthur.

Lancelot had laid Merlin on Arthur's bed, and had started to undress him.

"We need to keep him warm, Sire," Gaius commanded, as he saw how pale Merlin was.

"Of course. Ian, stoke up the fire, and fetch more blankets," he told his servant, who had come into the chambers, too, and was standing in the middle of the room, looking lost and helpless.

"His leg is broken, and he has a nasty gash on the back of his head," Gaius said, while examining Merlin. "And he is very weak. I need hot water, and wood to splint the fracture," he continued.

"I'll get that." Gwaine hastily disappeared.

"Gaius...he will be all right, won't he?" Arthur asked.

"I can't tell you at the moment, Sire. If he survives the night..."

"I take care of the horses," Lancelot offered, and left.

"Merlin needs to rest, and you need your bed, Sire. After I've tended to his injuries, we should bring him to my chambers," Gaius remarked.

"Wouldn't it be better, if we don't move him that much?" Arthur objected.

"Indeed, Sire, but..." Gaius replied, before he was cut off by Arthur.

"Maybe you are right. It's better, if you can watch over him."

Before Gaius could say something, Ian and Gwaine returned, carrying wood, hot water, and blankets.

Arthur harshly ordered Ian to bring the blankets to Gaius' chambers. "And make sure the fireplace is lit."  
Ian stared at Arthur in disbelief, before he turned around, and vanished.

As Gaius put Merlin's leg in splints, and rubbed a soothing ointment into his skin, Merlin whimpered, and tried to pull his leg away.

"Hush, Merlin. I will give you a sedative in a bit," Gaius calmly said. "It will help with the pain."

Arthur bent down to Merlin, and grasped his hand. "Why can't he heal himself?" he whispered so that only Gaius could hear him.

"Healing spells are very strength-sapping and exhausting. I'm afraid Merlin is too weak to cast them, Sire," Gaius said sadly.

"Oh..." Arthur eyed Merlin intensely. Although he had last seen him two days ago, Merlin's face was sunken in, and the dark circles under his eyes indicated that he had barely slept.

"Can I do anything for him, Gaius?" he asked quietly, and let go off Merlin's hand.

Gaius frowned. "You can hold his head, while I clean the wound," he suggested.

Gently, Arthur held Merlin's head. Merlin's eyelids fluttered, and he was mumbling unintelligible words. Gaius hurried to tend to the bleeding wound.  
Incidentally, Arthur stroked Merlin's prominent cheek, trying not to touch the dressing.

"Good, we can move him now," Gaius said, and stepped back so that Gwaine could lift Merlin off the bed.

One last time, Arthur caressed Merlin's hand, and glanced at his dead still face.

"Tell me, if his condition changes, Gaius," he said to he court physician, and added silently: "Everything will be all right, Merlin. I stop by tomorrow."

Carefully, Gwaine laid Merlin on Gaius' plain bed, and covered him with the blankets, Ian had put out.  
Ian, who had added some more logs to the fire, stood up, and insecurely glanced at Gaius.

"Thank you, Ian. I don't need your help anymore," Gaius said friendly.

Ian let out a shaky breath, bowed to him, and left the room as quickly as he could.

Concern flickered over Gwaine's eyes. "Please help him. Merlin is my only friend..."

"I will do everything I can." Gaius seemed exhausted.

Gwaine nodded at him, and headed back to his own room. He needed to get out of his armor.

**xxx**

As he walked past Arthur's chambers, he could see Arthur through the still open door. The king was standing at his bed, staring at the bloody and rumpled sheets.

"It has all been your fault," he snapped at Arthur, and crossed the room in three long strides.

Arthur sank down on the mattress. "Gwaine, you don't know what he did."

"I know Merlin, and he would never cause you any harm. Why don't you forgive him?"

"It is not that easy," Arthur hissed.

"Merlin nearly died out there!" Gwaine angrily shouted.

"I did not want that. But he has disappointed me. I don't know, if I can ever trust him again, Gwaine. Leave me alone, I need to rest."

"You want to send him away, if he gets better?" Shocked, he stared at Arthur. "You don't know how many times, Merlin saved your life, do you? He should be a knight, and not your servant."

"You mustn't worry about my decisions. Go now."

"You cannot duck responsibility forever," Gwaine growled, and slammed the door shut behind him.

Arthur shook his head, and thought of Merlin. He had seemed so weak and vulnerable, although he had been been a powerful wizard two days ago, when he had fought against a magical creature, and saved his life.

Could it be that he had done this before?

Merlin had always been at his side. He had always helped him, but he had never used magic, had he?

Although Merlin had always accompanied him on dangerous and difficult quests, he had never noticed anything special about him. Usually, Arthur had found him hiding behind trees or rocks.

But even if he had used magic to help him, it was wrong. It was wrong and evil.

How had Merlin learned all this? Who had helped him mastering his magic?

"Gaius," he spluttered.

Had Merlin come to Camelot to become Gaius' apprentice? Hastily, he got to his feet, and walked to his window. He opened it, and let the cool air soothe his hot skin.

Some guards were warming themselves at a fire. Arthur tiredly watched them.

Gaius had never stopped using magic. He had fooled everyone, including his father. Arthur clenched his fists.

It was Gaius' fault that he had banished Merlin, and that he had hurt himself.

Arthur went back to his bed, stripped it of the filthy sheets, and threw them on the floor.

Quickly, he undressed. Tomorrow, he would take care of Merlin, and if he was feeling better, he would talk to Gaius.

With these thoughts, he lied down, and fell asleep almost immediately.

**xxx**

As Merlin slowly opened his eyes, he didn't know where he was.

"Merlin! Gaius, he is awake", said a a very familiar voice. It was Lancelot.

Confused, Merlin turned his head, and grimaced, as it started to pound painfully.

"Stay still, Merlin. Gaius will be here, soon," Lancelot softly said.

"Lancelot..." Merlin croaked. "Water..."

Lancelot stood up, and poured cold water in a mug. "Drink slowly, Merlin."

Carefully, he sipped at the mug Lancelot held to his lips.

"Thank you," he whispered.

"What have you done, Merlin?" Lancelot asked, putting his hand on Merlin's forehead. "At least you're not running a fever."

Before Merlin could reply, Gaius hurried down the steps. He had slept in Merlin's room, while Lancelot had sat with him.  
"Merlin, how are you feeling? What happened?"

"I...I don't know," Merlin replied, his voice barely audible. "Arthur has banished me...and I was in the woods...and now?"

"You've broken your leg. You will stay here, until it has healed," Gaius said.

"Does Arthur know?" Merlin asked scared.

"Of course. He brought you home," Lancelot explained.

**xxx**

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Lancelot quickly opened it, and let Arthur in. His hair was tousled, and he still looked very tired.

"How is Merlin?" he alarmingly asked.

"He is awake, Sire," Lancelot said, winked at Merlin, and left the room.

"I let you two talk. Take it easy, Merlin," Gaius remarked, and followed Lancelot.

Arthur glared at him, before he sank down on the chair next to Merlin's bed.

"Arthur..." Merlin murmured, because he didn't know what to say.

"Merlin, how are you feeling?" Arthur asked, eying him nervously.

"I feel, as if my whole body is one large bruise, and my head seems to explode, but other than that..." Merlin curled his lips into a smirk. "Thank you for saving me."

"Actually, it was..." Arthur began, and shook his head. "Merlin, I don't understand, why you came to Camelot where magic is prohibited. What has Gaius taught you?"

"What?" Shocked, Merlin abruptly sat up, regretting it almost instantly, as waves of searing pain shot through his head.

"Why has Gaius convinced you to study magic?" Arthur pressed him.

"It wasn't like that!" Merlin stared at him, his eyes wide with fear. "The magic has always been a part of me, Arthur. I was born with it. My mother has sent me to Gaius so that he could help me control it."

Violently, Arthur flinched. "A part of you? But that is not possible. You are...are you..what are you?"

Merlin looked at him, hurt and broken. "I am a sorcerer, Arthur. But I'm still the same person."

Arthur sighed. "I don't know what I should do, Merlin. Every time I think of magic, all the evil comes to my mind. But when I look at you, it's hard to believe that you are a monster..."

Merlin's eyes widened. He had often thought of himself as a monster. He had hated himself for his powers. It had taken him a long time to accept what he was. Tears welled up in his eyes.

"I am not a monster, Arthur," he whispered. Tears ran down his cheeks. "I know that you had to witness people using magic for the wrong end. But I will always support you. I must protect you."

Arthur forced a weak smile on his lips. "You don't need to protect me, Merlin. I can take care of myself. I've already told you that. But you are right. I am afraid of magical powers, and what they can do to others."

Almost instantly, Merlin started to grin. "I'd rather not tell you how many times I've saved your royal backside. Then you'd knew how well you can take care of yourself."

Again, Arthur sighed. "Gwaine said something like that...It seems to be true, if even he did realize that."

Merlin became serious. "It is true. Arthur, I cannot change what I am."

"But Merlin," Arthur interposed, "you must understand that it's not that easy for me. My whole life I was told how dangerous magic is. I've seen it causing disaster, hatred, and violence. I need time, Merlin."

"Yes, I get that..." Sadly, Merlin looked at him. "You're not going to send me away again, are you?"

Arthur grimaced. "I don't know."  
But then his eyes began to sparkle with glee. "Apparently, I can't let you wander through the woods all by yourself without you getting hurt."

"Yeah, could be." Merlin chuckled, but then he gaped at Arthur, as he realized what Arthur had just said. "Does that mean that I..."

"You're not getting far with this leg, anyway." Arthur smiled, and stood up. "And now get some rest."

"Arthur," Merlin called him, as he already was at the door. "Thank you."

Smiling, Arthur nodded at him, before leaving the room. He was still smiling, after he had closed the door behind him.

**xxx**

Although he didn't want to admit it, he was happy that Merlin was back. It was strange. The fact that Merlin had been born with magic scared him. Nevertheless, there was something inside him that didn't want him to leave.

When Merlin was with him, he didn't feel that empty. Merlin had always cheered him up, even if it had been an with an insulting remark.

When Merlin was with him, he could always be himself. Merlin had listened to him. He had caught him, and had encouraged him, whenever he felt weak and sad.

"Why are you grinning, Arthur?" The king hadn't noticed Gwaine, who was walking towards him.

"That's none of your business, Gwaine," Arthur said condescendingly.

"Whatever," Gwaine said, shrugging his shoulders, and entered Gaius' chambers.

**xxx**

"Hey, Merlin," he greeted his friend. "Lancelot told me that you've woken up, and that Arthur is with you."

Merlin tried to sit up. "Yes, Gwaine. I think, he lets me stay."

"What? That's awesome!" Gwaine tightly hugged his friend.

"Ouch!" Merlin shouted, and pushed Gwaine back.

"Oh, sorry," he said. "It's so good to see you up and around. Everything will be all right."

Merlin rubbed his aching head. "I don't know, if that's true..."

"But you said that you can stay."

"For now", Merlin corrected him. "Arthur doesn't know what he will do, once I'm better."

"Arthur is an idiot," Gwaine mumbled.

"No, Gwaine," Merlin objected. "I am sure he will make the right decision."

"You have forgiven him that he has banished you from Camelot?" Gwaine asked surprised.

"He didn't have any other choice, Gwaine," Merlin quietly said.

"Merlin, what has happened? What have you done?" Gwaine wanted to know.

Frustrated, Merlin bit his bottom lip. "Please don't get me wrong, Gwaine. I trust you with my life, but I am so happy to be here that I don't want to risk anything."

"Arthur should be grateful that he has you, Merlin," Gwaine noticed in awe.

Merlin's cheeks flushed. "He is my destiny," he replied embarrassed.

"Your destiny?" Gwaine grinned. "Why are you blushing, Merlin?"

"Because I don't feel like an icicle anymore," Merlin cheerfully said.

"Merlin, I may not be the brightest, but even I can see that you're hiding something."

Merlin chuckled, and his cheeks turned bright red. "Arthur has saved me. He has brought me back."

"Well, actually, Lancelot has found you...and I took care of your horse," Gwaine reported.

"But..." Merlin slightly paled. "Arthur was with you, wasn't he?"

"Sure. We had been hunting. And Ian accompanied us," Gwaine babbled.

"Ian?" Confused, Merlin raised his eyebrows. "Who is Ian?"

Gwaine, who realized that he had made a mistake, nervously glanced at Merlin. "Uh, that's not important."  
Disappointed, Merlin lowered his head. "Ian is Arthur's new servant, isn't he? He has already replaced me."

"Merlin, you know that some nobles can't do anything on their own." Gwaine tried to cheer him up. "But I think you should talk to Arthur about that."

"He won't accept me as his servant anymore. And he will forbid me to work with Gaius," Merlin said, and lied down on the hard mattress.

"Just get well, soon, Merlin. Don't you worry about anything else."

"Thank you, Gwaine," Merlin said, and tiredly closed his eyes. His head hurt, and his leg was pounding painfully.

"You should try to sleep. I will stop by tomorrow." Gwaine smiled at him, got up, and left him alone.

**xxx**

Merlin snuggled down in his blanket. He hoped that Arthur wouldn't push him away again, but accept him the way he was. Arthur had looked so disappointed and hurt. But he needed Arthur.

It was his destiny to look after him – to be with him. Forever.

He didn't want to leave him again. But he couldn't deny who he was. Arthur had to accept him with his magic. He just had to.  
And if he couldn't be his servant anymore, maybe he could work in the kitchens or the stables. He would do anything, as long as he could stay in Camelot.

He loved being near Arthur. Even if he made fun of him, or denied him a day off, Merlin had seen the satisfied sparkle in his eyes. Arthur had always wanted him to stay at his side.

Arthur.

Grinning, Merlin fell asleep.

**xxx**

Arthur was sitting at his desk, preparing a speech for the harvest festival next week. Usually, he would have charged his servant with it, but he didn't trust Ian to write a speech for him, and Merlin...

Arthur put down the quill.

He still didn't know what he should do with Merlin. Every time he looked at him, he had to think of the magic cursing through his veins. Even if Merlin promised him to not use it again, the magic was a part of him. He would always be a sorcerer.

A weak smile crept over his face, as he thought of how happy Merlin had been, because he had allowed him to stay here.

And how devastated Merlin had been, when he had sent him away.

Merlin really seemed to miss his work. No...Merlin had been desperate to stay with him. His constant babbling about protecting him, Merlin really meant it.

Arthur sneered. He had never treated Merlin that good, because he was afraid of forming any sort of relationship. He was his servant, and he could never be friends with a prince or king.

And now his servant was a sorcerer.

Merlin couldn't work for him anymore.

Although Merlin was more to him than just a worthless servant. Which made things even more complicated.  
Arthur sighed.

He couldn't get Merlin out of his mind.

He wished, he could just forgive him. He wished, he could accept him.

"Damn it, Merlin. Why are you a sorcerer?" he whispered.

"Merlin? That's the guy, we found in the woods, isn't he?" Ian suddenly asked.

Shocked, Arthur looked up. He had never expected Ian to enter his chambers without knocking.

"How dare you sneak up on me like that?" he growled. Why had he been so stupid? What if Ian had heard him calling Merlin a sorcerer?

"Sire, you ordered me to bring you some more parchment, and I didn't want to disturb you," Ian insecurely said.

"And you honestly think that your cheeky remark did not disturb me?" Arthur said angrily. "Forget about everything you've just heard, and don't tell anyone about it. Is that clear?" His eyes flashed furiously.

"Actually, you weren't really working, Sire. I haven't heard anything, I promise. Is there anything else I can do?" His servant was smiling helplessly.

"No. Give me the parchment, and get out." Arthur's anger slowly subsided. He didn't believe Ian, but he hoped he had intimidated his servant so much, he was too frightened to blurt out Merlin's secret.

Ian placed the parchment on the table, bowed deeply, and left Arthur alone.

Arthur was worried. Merlin's secret had to stay secret, or he would lose the respect and reliability.  
Let alone the consequences for Merlin. Merlin would be feared and hunted down. And then he would have to leave Camelot for good.

He could not allow that, not as long as there was still hope. He would find a solution for Merlin.

Now, he couldn't finish that stupid speech.

"Merlin, in the past years I haven't thought as much about you, as I have in the last seven days. And only because of these stupid nightmares," he thought.

He still hadn't comprehended, why he had had these dreams, and why Merlin had appeared in his sleep.

He ignored the parchment and quill, and decided to visit Merlin.

******xxx**

He knocked on the door, but no one let him in. Silently, Arthur entered. Merlin was lying on Gaius' bed, fast asleep.

The blanket had slid down, revealing an oversized nightshirt. Slowly, Arthur came closer.

Merlin's cheeks had regained a little bit more colour, and he didn't look, as if he was in pain.

Softly, Arthur covered him with the blanket, and sat down on a a chair.

Merlin yawned, and stretched.

Surprised, Arthur flinched. Merlin drowsily sat up, rubbed at his eyes, and swung both of his legs over bed frame. Slightly limping, he walked to the table, grabbed an apple, and took a huge bite. Then he turned around, and walked back to the bed.

Arthur eyed him confused. He was too astonished to even say something.

As Merlin had reached the bed, he discovered Arthur. Shocked, he began to cough, as he choked on his apple.

He started to sway, and would have fallen, if Arthur hadn't firmly grabbed him.

When his coughing had succeeded, Merlin stared at Arthur. "Good...good morning, Arthur."

"Morning? It's already afternoon. And why are you walking around? You should stay in bed, and rest."

"I was hungry," Merlin replied, and showed Arthur the apple.

"Hungry?" Arthur repeated, raising his eyebrows. He hadn't loosened his grip on Merlin's arm. "And what about your leg?"

"I'm feeling better," Merlin said.

"That's impossible," Arthur exclaimed, but then he understood. "You...have healed yourself?"

"Yes." Merlin grinned weakly. "It doesn't matter anymore."

"It does matter! What if someone sees you like that? We have to be careful!" Arthur objected and dragged Merlin back to the bed. "A servant or a knight can always stop by. Sit down already," Arthur snarled.

Merlin sat down, and looked at Arthur. "Don't worry. I am careful."

"Merlin, I am worried. Ever since I had these dreams, I am worried about you. And I don't even know why I dreamed about your death," Arthur said, sitting down next to him.

"Arthur, I was responsible for your dreams," Merlin quietly explained.

Arthur laughed hoarsely. "Don't be ridiculous! Why should you be held responsible? Or did you..."

"No!" Merlin objected immediately. "Not on purpose." Embarrassed, Merlin looked at the floor.

"What does that mean?" A hint of panic glimmered in his blue eyes. "Do you lose control over your...powers?"

"No, Arthur, but this creature...It was a succubus, and Gaius said that it is summoned by someone, who is unhappy, and..."

"Unhappy? Why have you been unhappy, Merlin?" Arthur wanted to know.

"Gaius told me that I had been under a lot of pressure, because I had to keep my magic hidden from you, and...somehow I lost control over it. The succubus has caused your nightmares, slowly draining you. It has nearly killed you. It has all been my fault. I'm so sorry." Merlin swallowed, blinking away hot tears.

Arthur jumped to his feet, and began to pace. "But...you...I would have nearly died because of you..." Suddenly, he stopped dead in his tracks.

"Why me?"

Merlin turned white as a sheet. "I don't know. Maybe, because I used all of my energy to hide my magic from you, and support you at the same time."

Arthur intensely looked at Merlin. "It must have been very difficult for you...to live with that secret. Why did you take that risk? If my father had found out..."

Merlin used his sleeve to wipe his eyes. "I must...I want to protect you." Helplessly, Merlin glanced at Arthur, before he cleared his throat.

"I couldn't let you ruin your freshly polished armor."

Arthur grinned. "Of course! You miss it, am I right?" Then he became serious again. "I am glad, you've told me all this. But how could you defeat the succubus?"

Merlin grimaced. "When we met the succubus for the first time, it delivered a message to me. It said that I have to tell you about my magic, and don't deny who I am."

"Mhmm." Arthur tilted his head to one side. "And if you hadn't done this..."

"The succubus would have killed you. I didn't have a choice. Do you understand that I only want to help and protect you? I would never use my magic to put you in any danger. I want you to be happy. That's a promise."

"I believe you, Merlin. However, you have to be even more careful," Arthur said.

"I know. I will always be careful until the day I die." Merlin sighed.

"Merlin, please understand that I cannot permit magic overnight. My subjects wouldn't understand it. Maybe they would panic. And I need more time, too."

"I know, Arthur. But please, let me stay here. No one will become suspicious," Merlin begged.

"Agreed. And you will stay in that bed for at least a week. Try to get some rest. And don't worry, my armor will be waiting for you." Arthur smiled.

"Thank you, Sire! Thank you so much!" Merlin's eyes sparkled with glee.

Never mind." Arthur stood up. "Oh, and Merlin, I don't have to tell you that you will fulfill your duties without using magic."

"But I have never...yes, Sire," Merlin quickly added.

"Good. I'll see you next week in my chambers," Arthur said, and left.

Merlin was beaming. Gwaine had been right. Everything would fall into place.


End file.
